I felt that I was not making any progress in my technical development in the gym I was training in from 2010-2012. Leaving was really tough, because I trained and competed with them nearly everyday. I finally made my decision to leave, when people started slamming their way out of submissions during competition class.
After I started training with a different group of people, I got a lot more technical and for sure had less injuries.
When I first moved to my city, I was asked to teach at the local Gracie Barra, back in 2010/2011 (they were just starting up and didn't have many higher belts, so I was one of a handful of purples there at the time). Great school, awesome facilities and lots of lovely people.
However, it got increasing formal as they steadily adopted all the GB HQ rules, gradually bringing in mandatory uniforms, bowing etc. The atmosphere got too formal for me, so I left in late 2013, as politely as possible. I try not to burn bridges, so still on good terms with plenty of people from there.
I left my old gym due to wanting to also do Kickboxing/MMA but I didn't have the financcial means to do BJJ at a pure BJJ school and Striking at a gym so I needed to find a location that offered both. It wasn't an easy decision beacause I really liked my coach and the culture we had there and I still reccomend people to that school. What drew me to my current gym was the quality of the programs and the dedicated begginer program that would be good for my significant other who was just starting to express interest.
"I eat a lot of beans. There was a lot of complaints. Grown men cried. Something about top North South while hunting for the Kimura. Something about 'it was wet sounding'. Something about asking everyone to pull my finger as if I was going to demonstrate a self-defense technique."
This is all true. He showed up at my gym tonight. There were multiple complaints. Then he harassed my wife and cat.
"Your weird wife was doing headstands on a yoga brick. Then you were like, I don't want to get anybody sick, so I will demonstrate moves on my wife, but then your wife grappled everybody. You do know how germs work, right...?"
The first academy I started in I left because I was sent overseas.
The second academy I left because I felt my instructor was kind of taking advantage of me and charging me more than anyone else even while I was running alot of his classes. (I was just a blue belt.) I left after purple because it wasn't getting any better and when I tried to discuss it with him he made me feel like a creonte because I wanted to be treated fairly. I left but stayed on the same team and now him and I get along just fine and are still team mates. I still credit him with my instruction up to purple with no hard feelings. All water under the bridge. At the time of course I was branded a Creonte (only by him) but everyone knew I wasn't the one who created the situation.
when i first started training, gyms were few and far between. i honestly didnt know of any other legit places in my area. i was unhappy at the place i started after being there for a year. i remember the last straw for me was he would line up the white belts on the wall and put blue and purple belts out in the middle and everyone would fill in to roll. i rolled for 30 seconds and the owner tapped me on the shoulder to jump back out and then that was it for the night. i hadnt even broken a sweat i was like wow i gota gtfo of this place. our guys had went to a tournament and met people from a gym within driving distance so i went and checked it out and the atmosphere was very different. much more laid back, much more rolling.
ive also left gyms over non jiu jitsu related reasons. had personal/family issues with the owner. had to leave a couple of gyms because they closed.
My fundamental reason for leaving was that the atmosphere at the gym was gradually becoming kind of stagnant and toxic. It is possible that it actually had been for some time and I had just refused to notice or acknowledge it. Several people approached me complaining about things at the gym over the years -- especially in recent months -- asking if I could fix it, suggest alternatives, etc. When I talked with the owner about it, he said that if I wasn't 100%, exclusively behind him and his choices, leadership, etc., that I was "invited to leave."
... so I left.
... and started an alternative program here in town that presently has about 20 very happy participants, basically no overhead expenses, etc. We are having a great time, jiu jitsu is fun again, and we aren't having to deal with petty politics and silliness. I suppose it is just a matter of time until we mess it up in some new way. :)
"my instructor was [...] charging me more than anyone else even while I was running a lot of his classes."
Wow!! I am one of the instructors for Beginners' class (2 times a week, tops), thus my own training is completely free.
(Glad to have found a great gym & coach from the get-go. In fact, my gym moved to a more inconvenient location for me [other options would've been closer since] but I keep commuting there because I like & appreciate it so much.)
Started at Alliance Oulu. Trained there for a year before most of our instructors left and I followed. At that time Oulu wasn't getting much support from Alliance and we would've had to travel over 500km for seminars.
I trained and later coached at my long-time new home gym. Started doing it full time and had to get more work. Got a second job at another local gym that was just starting up. My primary gym's owners didn't like that (which would have been understandable IF there was a non-compete agreement on the employment contract), so they forced me to choose between gyms. The new gym paid 3x the salary I was getting before and they gave me no ultimatums. It was an easy choice. I could've still trained at the old gym, but I couldn't afford it. It was sad to leave all great long-time training partners and students behind, but sometimes you just gotta do what's best for you.
I also joined another local gym and coached and trained there for free for a while. Stayed for a bit until my job demanded too many days and couldn't coach in 2 places any more. I still visit them as often as I can. Such a great little gym with great people.
Leaving gyms shouldn't be a problem. Visiting other gyms shouldn't be a problem. Allowing instructors to earn enough money to get by shouldn't be a problem.
The first time was because I moved and a black belt I trained with at the forst location was opening a new gym in the city I moved to.
The second time was because the gym moved and the longer commute was proving too taxing.
The third time was due to an injury. By the time I had healed up enough to come back there was a different instructor running the gym and several training partners had left to start their own place so I went to their new gym.
This is an interesting one worth commenting on, as it is basically the entire reason we (two other instructors and I) branched out from the gym we were all training and teaching classes at.
The head guy at the time was proving to be a real scum bag with the young female students. This guy was in his 60's, a real piece of shit as a Black Belt, and was using that position (which he obtained by default when the head instructor bailed and left his team to go work in Dubai)..
Long story short, some of the students came to us and told us this guy was constantly harassing them for dates, on and off the mats, calling them at home, etc.
When we confronted him with these emails and letters, especially the ones that gave full description of how he was groping them during "rolling sessions" and how they kept seeing their pictures (from the supposed "security camera's" he'd added in the gym when he took over) on his FB page... we'd had enough. He denied everything as misunderstandings.. and wouldn't own up to being the shitbag that we all knew he was.
So, we left. We told the students we were leaving for personal reasons, and that they were all to do whatever they felt was right. We (at that time) had NO intentions of starting our own gym. But a month later we'd had such an over abundance of letters, calls, and emails asking to start one up so everyone could leave that gym, that we felt it was the right thing to do.
So, here we are 4 years later, and our academy is still going strong, supported by all the students that trusted us to make a new home for them.
NO ONE should ever be uncomfortable to come to ANY BJJ academy for reasons like these, and no one should ever feel like they're being abused, molested, or talked to inappropriately. NO ONE has the right to pray upon others, and make them feel insecure or unsafe. There should never be an abuse of power as an instructor or coach at a gym or in any other sport. Does it happen though? YES. So we are ALL responsible to put a stop to that shitty nonsense.
"This is an interesting one worth commenting on, as it is basically the entire reason we (two other instructors and I) branched out from the gym we were all training and teaching classes at. The head guy at the time was proving to be a real scum bag with the young female students. This guy was in his 60's, a real piece of shit as a Black Belt, and was using that position (which he obtained by default when the head instructor bailed and left his team to go work in Dubai).. Long story short, some of the students came to us and told us this guy was constantly harassing them for dates, on and off the mats, calling them at home, etc. When we confronted him with these emails and letters, especially the ones that gave full description of how he was groping them during 'rolling sessions' and how they kept seeing their pictures (from the supposed 'security camera's' he'd added in the gym when he took over) on his FB page... we'd had enough. He denied everything as misunderstandings.. and wouldn't own up to being the shitbag that we all knew he was. So, we left. We told the students we were leaving for personal reasons, and that they were all to do whatever they felt was right. We (at that time) had NO intentions of starting our own gym. But a month later we'd had such an over abundance of letters, calls, and emails asking to start one up so everyone could leave that gym, that we felt it was the right thing to do. So, here we are 4 years later, and our academy is still going strong, supported by all the students that trusted us to make a new home for them. NO ONE should ever be uncomfortable to come to ANY BJJ academy for reasons like these, and no one should ever feel like they're being abused, molested, or talked to inappropriately. NO ONE has the right to pray upon others, and make them feel insecure or unsafe. There should never be an abuse of power as an instructor or coach at a gym or in any other sport. Does it happen though? YES. So we are ALL responsible to put a stop to that shitty nonsense."
Helio Gracie said: only sex for procreation.
And Professor Bill said: if you have sex with your adult students, and I get a call about it, you create work for me.
And I hate doing that kind of unpaid work, as I hate hell, and all things Montague.
After, all, I didn't get to have the sex.
Why should I have to do the work to clean up the mess?
Which brings me to another point: no sex on the mats.
That's gross.
You know who you are...
Which brings me to a final point.
If you have sex with children, might I suggest that you kill yourself, as soon as possible.
Whenever a pedophile kills themselves, they immediately go to a marvelous heaven, full of all the children they want.
But, the sooner the pedophile kills themselves, the nicer the heaven is for them.
So, don't delay, as you don't want to get bad seats at the Pedophile Heaven buffet, or celebrity review.
"This is an interesting one worth commenting on, as it is basically the entire reason we (two other instructors and I) branched out from the gym we were all training and teaching classes at. The head guy at the time was proving to be a real scum bag with the young female students. This guy was in his 60's, a real piece of shit as a Black Belt, and was using that position (which he obtained by default when the head instructor bailed and left his team to go work in Dubai).. Long story short, some of the students came to us and told us this guy was constantly harassing them for dates, on and off the mats, calling them at home, etc. When we confronted him with these emails and letters, especially the ones that gave full description of how he was groping them during 'rolling sessions' and how they kept seeing their pictures (from the supposed 'security camera's' he'd added in the gym when he took over) on his FB page... we'd had enough. He denied everything as misunderstandings.. and wouldn't own up to being the shitbag that we all knew he was. So, we left. We told the students we were leaving for personal reasons, and that they were all to do whatever they felt was right. We (at that time) had NO intentions of starting our own gym. But a month later we'd had such an over abundance of letters, calls, and emails asking to start one up so everyone could leave that gym, that we felt it was the right thing to do. So, here we are 4 years later, and our academy is still going strong, supported by all the students that trusted us to make a new home for them. NO ONE should ever be uncomfortable to come to ANY BJJ academy for reasons like these, and no one should ever feel like they're being abused, molested, or talked to inappropriately. NO ONE has the right to pray upon others, and make them feel insecure or unsafe. There should never be an abuse of power as an instructor or coach at a gym or in any other sport. Does it happen though? YES. So we are ALL responsible to put a stop to that shitty nonsense."
Truth! These kind of people need to be called out and banned from teaching and training.
I also agree will William on those points. These people put a stain on the rest of us. Academies should be a place you come to and be able to learn and grow not deal with predators.
"Wow!! I am one of the instructors for Beginners' class (2 times a week, tops), thus my own training is completely free. (Glad to have found a great gym & coach from the get-go. In fact, my gym moved to a more inconvenient location for me [other options would've been closer since] but I keep commuting there because I like & appreciate it so much.)"
It was a bad experience for sure.. I am glad we were able to put it behind us though as we are still on the same team.
Unfortunately he is still experiencing mass exoduses from time to time for this type of scenario. I think alot of black belts take advantage of people based on their position of authority over students and also a sense of superiority does not help. I do not and will never treat any of my students in that manner.
First of all, I feel fortunate to be able to teach and train. The trust placed in me is inviolate and I appreciate it.
I always remind my students that the most important person in the room is the white belt not the black belt instructor. The life blood of any organization is it's members.
Some may disagree and that is fine by me. Different strokes for different folks.
After teaching BJJ at our current academy 1997-2005 (plus Karate before that), our karate-sensei (who was head of the academy scheduling) basically told us that BJJ generated to few members who didn't also train other martial arts at the academy so he could going forward only offer us mat time for one class a week. So we were totally open with that being far too little for our students and us to continue developing in BJJ and that we would reluctantly have to look for options elsewhere if that decision was final. Leading to us joining the old Muay Thai and MMA section of our gym, who had recently split off into their own academy, where we could basically have all the classes we wanted and even had our own keys.
So we were there 2005-2012, until that academy was dissolved and partially merged into a Stockholm city academy, which was too far away to commute to with my situation at the time. Since 2005, BJJ and MMA in Sweden, as well as our local BJJ group, had grown significantly and our old academy had also started their own MMA section. So we probed the interest to host our BJJ section once more and were welcomed back with open arms and have stayed with our original academy ever since. A real win-win that we kept good relations with our first academy over the years.
So basically the middle third of our BJJ journey as instructors was at another academy, although the whole BJJ section moved back and forth with us.
A bit sad though how many students have dropped off along the way (especially in Sweden, where it's most common that you teach for free) and we have only one student left who started five years in to (two years before leaving) our second academy. And only a few from the first years of the last third of our time as instructors. But couldn't fit many more students into the mat times we are currently offered (I think we were over 50 people sparring at the same time last training), so hopefully we also have more who will remain.
